Certificate: 15 (tbc).
Running Time: 90 mins.
UK Distributor: Modern Films
WHO’S IN BLUE BAG LIFE?
Lisa Selby, Helen Selby, Elliot Murawski
WHO’S BEHIND THE CAMERA?
Lisa Selby (director, writer), Alex Fry and Rebecca Lloyd-Evans (directors, editors), Josie Cole (writer), Natasha Dack-Ojumu (producer), Dana Wachs (composer)
WHAT IS BLUE BAG LIFE ABOUT?
Artist Lisa Selby explores her deep connection with her estranged, drug-addicted mother…
WHAT ARE MY THOUGHTS ON BLUE BAG LIFE?
When someone is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or any other such harmful substance, the long-term effects don’t just affect the one taking it. Families, friendships, and even entire communities can be torn apart by someone’s growing dependency on something that grants them much less pleasure than they may think, with all those people that have been left behind forced to clean up their mess when the inevitable finally happens. Just one of these many stories is at the centre of Blue Bag Life, a sobering and ponderous documentary that explores how a simple life can be turned completely to ruin by someone else’s mistakes.
Blue Bag Life is the brainchild of Lisa Selby (who co-directs with Alex Fry and Rebecca Lloyd-Evans, both of whom also edited the film), an artist living in east London whose mother, Helen, abandoned her at a young age with the babysitter to indulge her heroin addiction and rampant alcoholism. When Helen dies of cancer, and within the same year Lisa’s partner Elliot – himself a recovering heroin addict – is arrested and imprisoned for drug dealing, Lisa reminisces about her mother’s abandonment and how it has greatly affected her psychology as an adult, to where she even finds it difficult to even say the word “Mum”. Furthermore, as she seriously contemplates becoming a mother herself, Lisa questions if she is doomed to make the same mistakes as her own mother, or if the cycle will stop thanks to the lessons that she has learned.
Mostly shot via iPhone footage – though you wouldn’t be able to tell, given how crisp and clear the picture quality is – the film takes the viewer on an uncomfortable journey as it lays bare the stark truths of addiction and the emotional toll it has on others. In some harrowing scenes, we see Lisa’s partner Elliot become delirious and almost zombie-like once he injects heroin into his system, all while Lisa wonders (via voiceover) where both he and her mother end up going once they take the needle. Additionally, during an extended interview section in Helen’s severely rundown flat, which turned out to be the only footage that Lisa obtained of her mother before her death, Helen is barely able to get through a sentence without slurring her words, as big cans of beer sit directly in front of the camera, and needle marks are shown all across her arms.
These moments feel so raw and real – partly because, well, they are raw and real – because Selby captures them with a deep sorrow that highlights the underlying emotional pain that hovers over them like vultures, while Fry and Lloyd-Evans construct an incredibly moving narrative around Selby’s footage which crafts a devastating portrait of addition that doesn’t feel like it’s manipulating the audience for easy tears. Scenes that just show the absolute tip that Helen lived in, or Lisa venting through her phone as she walks through the streets of Hong Kong during a personal getaway, carry a great deal more honesty and integrity than some of the heavier-handed narrative dramas about addiction, since there is so much sorrow and remorse for the real mess that people leave behind which Selby and her fellow filmmakers convey without the need to opt for more cloying emotion.
While there is a formidable grimness to Blue Bag Life, since it is after all examining a number of very grim topics, there is also a surprising feeling of optimism, and ultimately a real affirmation for life and its many wonders. Throughout, Lisa recalls how her father effectively became both a mum and dad rolled into one after both were abandoned by Helen, and as we see footage of them in his small flat, there is a clear bond between them that hints at a relieving amount of love that she ended up receiving during childhood, despite her mother’s absence. The same feeling of love is felt as she chats with Elliot over the phone (as he’s serving time in prison) and shows footage of him jamming on the guitar, all while documenting their attempts to conceive a child despite some fertility issues.
With these moments and more, Lisa steers things towards a much more hopeful direction, one that is free of all the emotional problems she faced as a child, and with nothing standing in the way of unconditional love. It is heart-warming stuff, and it’s captured with such a naturalistic lens that it almost makes you want to live life to the fullest – which is more than anyone would perhaps expect to feel with a film about drug addition and fractured motherhood.
It runs out of steam a little as it approaches the ending credits, but it leaves things on a bright enough note to make you feel unexpectedly uplifted, which after all the focus on depressing and upsetting subject matter, is ironically just the high you’d need.
SO, TO SUM UP…
Blue Bag Life is a harrowing but surprisingly uplifting documentary about the devastating long-term effects of drug addiction and abandonment on other people, which ultimately finds optimism in a dark place.
