Love Hurts (dir. Jonathan Eusebio)

by Jack Martin | Feb 9, 2025

Certificate: 15

Running Time: 83 mins

UK Distributor: Universal Pictures

UK Release Date: 7 February 2025

WHO’S IN LOVE HURTS?

Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, André Eriksen, Sean Astin, Cam Gigandet

WHO’S BEHIND THE CAMERA?

Jonathan Eusebio (director), Matthew Murray, Luke Passmore and Josh Stoddard (writers), Guy Danella, David Leitch and Kelly McCormick (producers), Dominic Lewis (composer), Bridger Nielson (cinematographer), Elísabet Ronaldsdóttir (editor)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT?

A real-estate agent (Quan) is forced to return to his violent past life…

WHAT ARE MY THOUGHTS ON LOVE HURTS?

Just in time for Valentine’s Day comes 2025’s first big cinematic heartbreak.

Specifically, your heart breaks for Ke Huy Quan, who after the rollercoaster career he’s had – from initial success as a child actor to quitting the profession later in life due to the lack of acting gigs, to bouncing back as a stunt choreographer and then as an Oscar-winning actor – has finally landed his first lead role, only for it to be for the rather dire Love Hurts, a film so bafflingly bad that it’s almost a miracle that it actually made it into cinemas in its current condition.

It is by no means Quan’s fault. In fact, he is probably the best part of the entire film, as the actor brings such an endearing energy to a part that otherwise does not do him any favours, but he is so likeable and passionate as a performer that you do still root for him all throughout the movie. Not for his character, mind, but for him; Quan, as he has consistently shown ever since he came roaring back into our lives in Everything Everywhere All at Once, is someone you just want the best for, especially now that he’s been given this golden opportunity to shine in ways that he simply wasn’t able to before. And if that means enduring an otherwise rotten flick like Love Hurts every now and then, then maybe it’s a price worth paying.

Except, Love Hurts really is a terrible film, so much so that it impressively makes everyone other than Ke Huy Quan look bad, whether it’s his fellow performers or the incompetent lot working behind the scenes. And that, in a lot of ways, is less easy to digest.

In the film, Quan plays Marvin Gale, a real estate agent who, unbeknownst to his fellow employees – including his Stetson-wearing boss Cliff (Sean Astin, reuniting with his former Goonies co-star) – is a former assassin who used to work for his ruthless mobster brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu). However, as often tends to happen in films about killers trying to lead more normal lives, Marvin’s violent past comes back to haunt him as various thugs, including a poetry-reciting killer so emo and pretentious he is literally known as “the Raven” (Mustafa Shakir), come at him for information regarding Rose (Ariana DeBose, for whom the supposed “Oscar curse” is hitting hard, between this and Kraven the Hunter), a former presumed-dead associate who’s back in town for revenge against Knuckles and his crew, and who happens to be Marvin’s old flame… sort of.

I say “sort of”, because Love Hurts is such a poorly written movie that it never gives the viewer a clear look at what the exact relationship between all these characters is, nor does it give them enough of an idea of the kind of people they used to be before the events of this film. The script, credited to no fewer than three writers who among them couldn’t figure out what the movie ultimately should be, expects the viewer to take it all at face value rather than fill them in on certain details that would have truly made all the difference. As such, everything from the plot to the characters, to the dialogue and beyond feels exceptionally underbaked, with very little of it working because the writing fails to provide enough clarity to catch you up to speed, leaving you just sitting there watching stuff happen, with no care as to why or even how it’s all happening.

Sad to say, much of the film’s shoddiness lies in its director, Jonathan Eusebio. Coming from a long line of former stuntpeople turned filmmakers, following Chad Stahelski and David Leitch (the former also serving as a producer through his 87North Productions), the debut director clearly has little idea on how to steer his film toward any correct destination, with the film’s overall tone and style fluctuating at almost laughable levels. One moment you’ll be caught in the middle of a pretty rough and violent fight, and then the next you’re expected to shed tears during a much more tender scene, but it’s so haphazardly put together by some atrocious editing that Eusebio is unable to find the right approach that allows for a more natural connection between such scenes.

It’s also the kind of film that cannot decide whether or not it wants to have narration, as characters will randomly start inner-monologuing in ways that aren’t even consistent with the on-screen performances, which leads one to believe that they were hastily added much later in post-production as a means of awkwardly providing exposition for the viewer.

Even the action, which should at the very least be a movie highlight, feels somewhat off. The fight choreography is no doubt impressive, especially as Quan flips and dives over and under his various assailants, but it lacks the visceral and naturalistic bite of your average, but often much better, John Wick clone. There’s also something about the way that it’s all filmed which takes you out of it, as the cinematography and especially the editing both use way too many tricks to disguise the fact that these actors aren’t really punching or kicking each other (when they’re not their stunt performers), which here is far more noticeable than most other stunt-heavy action romps. Once again, Eusebio just isn’t able to envision it properly, leaving the film confused as to how it’s all supposed to come together.

To reiterate, Ke Huy Quan is innocent in all of this. He just happens to have been roped into starring in an exceptionally shoddy movie that fails to capitalise on his genuine charm and talent, which again for such a wholesome and loveable performer feels exceptionally heartbreaking.

SO, TO SUM UP…

Love Hurts is an atrocious action-comedy that not only contains half-baked writing, confused direction and even some underwhelming action, but it commits the cardinal sin of wasting the pure talent and charm of leading man Ke Huy Quan, who deserves far better in his newly revived career.